Once upon a time , on a Friday , for Weekly Photo Challenge on WordPress I thought of checking some old photographs I clicked in other countries. What happened next was inevitable , or so. I spent hours checking all happy moments from my past , then went to mail inbox and checked old mails . Soon , after 4 hours , I remembered I have a present, a beautiful present that I forgot for four hours.
Then, last week , while dealing with certain uncertainties, The husband and I decided to take a break from routines – gym , hikes , TV etc. We thought of reading two books that were on our reading list for a while , but soon were caught by nostalgia. Our two hour long chat involved my childhood travels , school day stories , his beautiful childhood in a well knit family ,his old friends , my old friends , my teen age achievements , his cricket-love etc until the point where our two worlds became one ,almost 10 years ago – things we talked about ,multiple times, yet we enjoy repeating.
After two hours passed , all of a sudden , I realized that the past has that addictive attraction – it always looks good; while it may not be that true.
My dad had to travel a lot ; as a result , I had to go to many schools . Each year , I had to make new friends , had to adjust myself in a completely challenging environment . It was difficult and maybe I was not happy about that . But now, when I look back , all I can see is a beautiful phase – filled with too many friends , new places and popularity ! It’s delusional. Nostalgia is delusional. Or maybe as per my own theory – We see what we want to see! When time flows , we want to hold on to only a fragment of it!
When I was in my early twenties I was a rebel . There were things that I wanted to change fast , for myself , for my friends , for the society. The superstitions which close the minds . The dogmas that stop us to be ourselves. The boundaries that make the world a small place . I succeeded at places . I failed miserably at others. And still I am who I am. World didn’t change much. As I grow older I feel more peace even when I don’t go with the flow . I do not want to go to my past and give the early twenty year old me a piece of peace. I don’t regret it either!
When destination changes, life doesn’t stop. Because life is never about the past or the future.
They say, our memories make us who we are! I despise . New cells are born , everyday. Blood flows. We eat things. We observe the world. We read. We are born everyday by welcoming every change . For us , every morning is a new morning. Every moment is constantly weaving our stories with threads of our own actions and reactions.
Our past was no different from today. There were sadness , laughter , moments of anger, depression , love. A few things stayed unchanged . A few things disappeared and made space to welcome new ones. We made mistakes , did things we are still very proud of . We have been hurt , we hurt . We faced failures so badly that we thought – life was ending! But, we are here today because we did not stay in the past. We forgave and forgot ; we forgave without forgetting a few precious things that we wanted to remember! We did not stop. We made peace with certain things . We accepted that “Charaiveti” was the only truth we had to carry forward!
Good and bad memories are part of every life. But if we focus on the present more we may never have to look back again! It was just a realization that day and I kept thinking about it. The more I think the better everything looks in the present situation ! Life is indeed [about] the present.