Choices we make ..

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Last three weeks were so hectic ; I was busy , so busy in doing everything I wanted to do for a long time. In my own world , the word “busy” has another meaning ; it means ” happy”.

BUSY == HAPPY.


I am happy when I am busy . When I am not busy or half-busy , I get bored and watch too many TV shows , eat out , eat more , go for a long walk , purchase unnecessary things ( for example , two kind of shampoos , lip gloss  , different kind of yogurts!), call close people too many times.In other words , I TRY hard to make myself busy if I have free time.

Since yesterday , I am not that busy ; while discussing that with a close friend , I was asked ” How do you stay happy and emotionally independent while managing a perfect work life balance? ” I said ” I don’t”.

***

It’s true. I do not stay happy all the time. There are incidents when work does not go well , I expect too much from my career and a dream die a peaceful death , I get headache or tummy ache after skipping meal , get knee pain after missing gym for a week.

I do not feel happy when my best friend does not listen to words of wisdom I share just to protect her , and keeps talking negative things.

I get cranky if I see gender bias.

I get annoyed if I miss buying my favorite author’s newly published book on the day of its publishing.

I feel miserable when I see stain marks on a freshly washed dish.

I get mad when I see a woman humiliating someone from her own fraternity for no reason.

When I am very angry, I cry. When I am very very sad , I cry too . It’s okay to express your emotions.It’s okay to feel helpless when you know you have to stop fighting with your conscience.

But , I do not keep myself in sadness for long time. Life’s every lesson talks about moving on ! Right?

When I am sad , I watch my favorite comedy series , watch a rom-com , read a good book from my book-shelf ,drink my favorite black tea , read someone’s amazing blog , write something , click a flower from different angles . These are things I love doing in my life. These things make me happy. And when I am sad , I appreciate happiness more.

***

I have many friends who talk about law of attraction , about reading books on positive thinking. During one such conversation , I heard from one of my friends ,that things they read in books are impossible to follow in real life.

I never read self help books , but I asked her if she really tried to push herself out from her negative thoughts and sadness . She said – It’s easier said than done !

I asked her to get a hobby . And she said she would.

Yesterday, I saw her FB wall – description of frustrations and every negative thought she came across. And she had many partners to encourage her negative thoughts. I saw no solution there.

I had time to ask her if she found out any hobby . She said , she was too sad to get out of her usual routine and find something new.

***

Sometimes , we fall in love with our problems. And we give away a large part of our life in exchange.

I am not here to judge anyone. It may sound preachy , too simple , even bitchy when I say it. But, it’s our life ; sometimes , we have to sit alone and plan a To-Do list for our own well-being.We have to push ourselves harder to good things , real hobbies , real solutions.

This world is filled with good things and good people . But, the choice is ours – what /who we want to attract. It’s okay to feel sad ; but , maybe, not okay to remain closed in that state of mind for long. Most of the times , half of the problems exist in our mind and they vanish the minute we start treating them.

***

Focusing only on happiness may not be good ; focusing only on negative thoughts is not good too . Life is a bag of mixed emotions ,feelings ,laughter and tears! To appreciate one emotion, we have to know the taste of other emotions too.

***

I know , it’s not easy. Figuring out what we want , what expectation we want to set – are difficult. But , at the end of the day : Whose life is it anyway?

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12 thoughts on “Choices we make ..

  1. Very heart warming and realistic insight… True, life they say is full of surprises. It is too short I understand now that I am wiser.
    Never underestimate the wisdom of the old, there lived so much tale to pick up our life lessons…
    We pass by this journey of life just once and we cannot go back on the same constantly moving river… Therefore we must live it and embrace the lessons that life throw at us.

  2. I love the second half of the quote: “Today I am wise so I am changing myself.”
    That is so very true. We can’t force change upon others. We are only in control of ourselves…but at times even that control is taken away by life’s circumstances.

    1. I know , Patrick. Life is a game of hope and expectations. 🙂 I wrote the post for simple problems , like sometimes , we fall in love with them. But, there are bigger problems and bigger losses too which are unbearable and uncontrollable . But , shifting the outlook can help us , hopefully. Thank you very much for your words. 🙂

  3. The only problem I found with changing myself is that its me who has to change every time. Others are sticking with however they are. You have great ability to put great thought in simple words. Some people love not only their problems they love being sad for getting attention. They don’t want solution just want everyone to listen to them, Love and hugs.

    1. Others will never change , Indira. I lost that hope.
      Yes, some people are plain attention seeker – my mom says the same too. It’s all about our choices , at the end of the day.
      By the way, Happy Durga Puja and Navaratri. I’m missing everything of my city plus “ilish machh ” . 🙂

  4. Amazing insight and great advice. Our task is to accept emotions as they pass through us, not to cling so tightly to them they begin to define us.

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