That red bus was still visible and my heart was getting heavier. I was there, seeing off two family members who traveled miles to visit us. Since I do not cry unless I’m extremely angry or happy, standing there I was feeling empty, trying to hold those temporary happy moments spent with them.
Another close family member was with me too, sobbing. It was a public place with people gazing at us. I was consoling her with a soft faith -“They will visit again soon.” And there , all of a sudden, she pointed out, “You know, I might be the only one who cries and misses people when they leave. I think my heart knows how to love people and yours…”, she paused, weeping again, without completing her words. It was a light statement; but it left me surprised. Perhaps, I was labeled as the “heart-less” one, right there, even though I felt I had a heart, at least one that was consoling her.
Same year, I had to travel to another country for a training program. The travel was planned just within a few months after my wedding. I was very happy because I waited for the opportunity since forever. But a good friend and a few family members called me to ask if I was feeling guilty to travel alone, leaving my husband in the city. I was not. But, I was almost labeled “heart-less” once and I did not want that label again, at least not from the person I loved; so I went home and shared the story with my husband, asking him if not feeling guilty was okay! He laughed, as usual, saying – ” Love should be your strength, not your weakness.“
Years passed. I moved through mountains of work assignments, swam through a small hole of sadness, made a sand castle with re-fixed career goals. Love is still my strength. It is one label that defines me, us, and I believe, anyone in love.
It is true that for a few months, I judged my own reactions to situations; felt my emotional strength to be misconceived, if not to me but to distant friends and family. But in my world, love was not supposed to be a weakness. I was supposed be the warrior in love!
Since then it’s been one amazing journey understanding how love solves many problems and how I use some love to build emotional durability – You can cry or you can help someone laugh!
In our life, we come across many people and their opinions. We judge others quickly and get judged too. While judging others, we always put ourselves as the better ones, the right ones, the perfect ones. I am still figuring out that subtle flavor of the word “better”, the unseen lines that create difference between right and wrong , perfect and imperfect. I definitely know that I am not perfect, I am not always right, if I work hard I can be better than who I am now; and I aim to be better.
This morning, during our regular conversations, my co-worker claimed- “You have an amazing heart . You can win anything with that. ” This time I was not winning. My work was in pretty bad shape and I was trying to find a little cave to hide for the day. So I smiled and wrote down on a paper, for her – Some hearts are good mirrors , they reflect what’s inside.
Do you love using words and labels to describe yourself? If yes , what are you ?
My favorite blogger Rara from https://rarasaur.wordpress.com has made a special holiday for label lovers : International Label Day on 21st November ; we are celebrating it at her place . Don’t forget to visit her and join the fun.
Update : 21st November – International Label day . Please visit Rara’s post here to spread love through words.