I fall in love with moments , good moments . Sometimes , all I want is to use a magic wand to stop a moment so that I can own it and can view it like a crazy obsessive lover.
But I know , time is my only enemy . It hardly listens to me , it runs fast , swims faster and flies away like a quick hummingbird ,even before I can get a glimpse of what it offers .
My rivalry with time started long ago ; when I was just starting to become an observer and planning to capture time within the closed boundary of my journal. One day , my dad gifted me a Kodak camera , 2 AAA batteries and a camera film. We celebrated it with all family members by having a Sunday lunch outside and that was the first photograph I clicked , officially. Unofficially , though , I played a lot with my Mom’s old yashica .
Since then my journal became a personal friend and increasing stack of photo albums started proving how easily one could freeze time forever. Years changed , seasons kept revisiting ,new friends replaced the old ones , I grew up becoming someone that we hardly thought of ; yet browsing through those albums made us realize what we lost and who we gained , the value of relationships , family time , mandatory weekend picnics , natural beauties , on maps those tourist spots we won (just by giving a visit) and things we did the way we wanted to do.
Still , it feels like a defeat ; still it feels like I lost capturing many fleeting moments , happy moments around me and my life , moments that vanished because I was busy doing something else.
I did not stop . I try to visit close people’s birthdays , closest friend’s anniversaries , with a camera. I still request my husband to click my picture with my newest hairstyle ; I wait for him to take picture of almost every good food I prepare .I capture people’s change of expressions – they are astonishing and momentary like the change of season .
Whenever I enjoy a moment , I feel the strong urge to catch it and save only for myself. I have understood – I am not a photographer or a social-network loving photo-obsessed person ; I am a crazy moment catcher ; I love revisiting old moments in solitude and with people who make moments worth re-living.
Nowadays , using phone camera , catching a moment is easy and sharing it is easier . You can add layers to a picture , use filter to depict your mood , you can capture your 24 hours and broadcast it the way you want.
I get it.
I love it too.
Who doesn’t love easy solutions?
But, still , I miss those shop-trips to purchase films , batteries and the waiting time to see how everyone looked on the printed photograph – if everyone’s head was in harmony , if someone forgot to smile , if a friend sneezed and got captured ! I also miss those little amazed expressions about the photographer and her skill – ” You can take my picture better than anyone.” .
Sometimes , complex things make us value them more , right?