Living in a pandemic: Mommyhood

But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

February

“We are cancelling his bday party due to the virus outbreak.”

“I have been reading about it too. Good decision. Wish him a happy birthday okay?”

“Don’t think Pump It Up can reimburse. By the way check these pics my friends sent from Costco. TP aisles are empty.”

“What? People are crazy!!”

 

March

Week1:

“Hey”

“You sure you won’t send her to school from tomorrow?”

“No. Just worried. What if she carries something home? Symptoms are similar to flu.”

“Yeah. But young children are fine, they said. I might stop sending from next week.”

Week2:

“Hey! So our school district will be closing. Do you think I should send the little one to daycare?I have to. How can I work otherwise?”

Week3.0:

“I heard people cannot hire nannies also.”

“I am going crazy with cooking, working, and watching them whole day.”

“Does your husband support you when you need help at home?”

“I am okay if TV is the baby-sitter during a pandemic.”

Week3.5:

“You there?”

“I got a delivery window at Costco today. No Tp and paper towel still. I might just drive up and check in morning.”

“Don’t go. It’s still not safe. Stay home.”

“Oh! If I don’t go, my children will stay hungry. I need at least noodles and rice.”

Week4.0:

“When kids sleep, I will go to ans In-n-Out tonight and eat a burger alone. I can’t live like this.”

“Was it a hard day? How is work?”

“Fine. Hard. How can they think women can work from home and manage a home too?”

“Listen. I am here. Talk to me. Just don’t eat out. Stay here, tell me everything.”

Week4.5:

“Check Khan Academy kids today. Free and at least they will sit for 10 mins.”

“I think my child cannot survive in next grade. He’s not learning anything. How are you by the way? Sorry couldn’t talk this week.”

“Tired. Not because of working, or listening to her stories whole day. Because of lack of pre-planning. Want some positive news and a full pantry. I should have gone to Costco in Feb.”

April

Week1:

“So they published a dashboard today. It has all the data and charts for our county.”

“Awesome. So staying home is helping the numbers.”

“Most probably. Listen, I got this kids’ pool in the backyard. They are happy. And no more screen time.”

.

.

.

.

Week3:

“Do you think we can still send them to summer camp?”

“I don’t think the virus looks any less scary right now.”

“What will you do when you have to go to work?”

“So many layoffs in past weeks.”

---> to be continued.....

**

So many things have changed over the past months. In January, when I lost my Grandmother, I kept looking for all my happy memories with her. I remembered her smell, her hairstyle, her movie watching habit, her food, and as much I wanted to write about her, I felt I lost my voice. I stayed that way until another news got me back on my present. And then February came. Rest all seemed blur. It’s still blur. It’s not easy to survive when death is the only news you read. Yet every morning, birds sing out of my window, and a long queue starts outside the neighborhood grocery store. People stand wearing masks, keeping 6ft distance from each other. Distant yet eager to know how you are doing. Neighbors text and share cooking pics. They are hopeful. This too shall pass. It always passes, leaving fragments of moments of despair and light. And we march on.

My condolences if you lost someone to this pandemic.

And if you lost hope, remember there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Stay safe.

 

3 thoughts on “Living in a pandemic: Mommyhood

  1. You have covered our sentiments perfectly. Its like life hasn’t hit you hard enough already …now you really have to be careful about the air that you breathe. My cat died two days ago and I find I have to put my grief on hold , for I miss my family and grandkids more while I still am cleaning out a hoarder house to sell for a family member who is just getting over C19. Its just all too much sometines.

  2. I never imagined working from home due to my job at LLNL. Then came word, if you have a laptop, take it with you and plan on working from home. This was a big departure. I have heard my colleagues children in the background during WebEx meetings and thought back to when mine were young. It would definitely be a stressful time to try and balance the demands of family, the job, the strange new normal, and sanity. I do find myself working longer hours at home.

    The one thing I did when my children were young, was to make them a higher priority than my career. This no doubt cost me in my advancement, but this was the advice given to me from a gentleman who sacrificed his family for his career. He shared this with me one day when my son was a toddler. It really applies now more than ever.

  3. I still remember one of your old write-ups from four years back- Real life happens in silence.
    This post reminded me of that favorite lien from your old blog. We all are going through so many things. Hope we all come out of it strong. What a beautiful write-up!

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