If I were a goal, I would have been an intended outcome-development sector speak. Experts in the development sector can differentiate a goal from an outcome, and an outcome from an output.
I’ve always struggled to understand the difference between all three.
The first time this confusion truly challenged me was when my psychiatrist asked me about my goals.
It was difficult to explain to him that I avoided setting goals because I was terrified of all the things that could go wrong. I was obsessed with potential pitfalls, constantly worrying about scary outcomes, and following my own rules to avoid being blindsided. This behavior was consistent with compulsive disorders—not the stereotypical handwashing compulsion, which is just one manifestation of the condition. My obsessive thoughts were more about the relentless thoughts that drove my need for control.
Every time I set a goal, my mind would be overwhelmed with a thousand questions. Let’s say I decided to go for a walk at 6 am in the morning, my mind on the previous day would be riddled with accidents that may happen, extreme weather events, alarm not going off, a possible work exigency- my brain would look something this:
So, anyway, I digress.
For a long time, goals were a dark and daunting territory for me. Perhaps I had once planned something with all my heart in childhood, and when things went terribly wrong, I stopped planning altogether.
But, thanks to years of therapy and my own determination, I began setting goals again. I started with short-term goal-something I could control. Gradually, a week turned into a fortnight, and a fortnight into a month.
Now, I’m at six months, and I’m doing goals well. Of course, I’m not achieving every single one, but I’m doing what I can without overthinking them.
One day at a time. One week at a time. I’m learning to navigate the lows and brave the storms.
Fingers in symphony 