Transformation

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transformation3.jpg

“Loss is nothing else but change, and change is nature’s delight.” — Marcus Aurelius

In modern era, too many hushed expectations are set for you if you are a person of my gender. You have to be exceptionally good at everything you do. You have to look beautiful from morning to night year after years. You have to make a home. You have to be perfectly congenial, at least as your virtual reality. You have to be the best mother that social media ever produced. You have to create a perfect human. You have to make magic in the kitchen. You have to hold a smile until your lips hurt. And if there is time, you have to shatter some glass ceilings, while looking like a diva. You have to chase your dreams after doing the dishes in night. You have to make your life worth living. You have to leave a legacy. Continue reading “Transformation” →

Petrichor, once more

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autumn leaves after rain

As I am writing here, rain has returned to the bay. Hills over my shoulder are sleeping, tucked in fog and cloud. This time every year my mind becomes overactive, and creatively wanders on muddy paths, jumps in puddles, rescues fallen leaves, wipes off raindrops on the blurry windows of nostalgia, whispers to the rose bushes, hugs a sad tree, and opens up the refrigerator door multiple times to get some food for thoughts. Continue reading “Petrichor, once more” →

Five Things That Made Me Happy in June & July

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Just another happy place in California
After a long wait, when June was getting over, I made it a farewell party. I packed my kitchen, books, and beloveds to a little chalet by an alpine lake. I sat outside, ignoring the afternoon sun that burnt my skin. I let it burn. They grow again. Skin. Hair. Joy. In night, I read in the dark room, under gigantic pine trees; I looked up often and there were always a handful of stars peeking from the open ceiling, omnipresent like best buds from memory. I cooked good meal, hiked down to collect pine cones, and some memories for the camera.

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Right here..

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“The faster we run, the more determined is the Universe to slow us down. The more embedded our methods of self-distraction, the more agitating the truth-aches calling us back to authenticity. The more eagerly we race to the sky, the more intense the lessons that bring us back to earth. The Universe has no interest in our flight from reality. It wants us right here. Nowhere else… but here.” 

– Jeff Brown, Ascending With Both Feet on the Ground

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