Transformation

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“Loss is nothing else but change, and change is nature’s delight.” — Marcus Aurelius

In modern era, too many hushed expectations are set for you if you are a person of my gender. You have to be exceptionally good at everything you do. You have to look beautiful from morning to night year after years. You have to make a home. You have to be perfectly congenial, at least as your virtual reality. You have to be the best mother that social media ever produced. You have to create a perfect human. You have to make magic in the kitchen. You have to hold a smile until your lips hurt. And if there is time, you have to shatter some glass ceilings, while looking like a diva. You have to chase your dreams after doing the dishes in night. You have to make your life worth living. You have to leave a legacy. Continue reading “Transformation”

Same journey, new shoes

samejourneynewshoes

January doesn’t amble, stroll, or linger. January strides, with pride and such motion that I fear of reaching the year end in a blink.

For several years, I lived a resolution free January- my January mornings were mostly cautious, looking at Facebook feeds of other people who wanted to try new things, amend new lifestyle in the first week of January. In two weeks everything fades.  Every. Single. Year. A new year starts looking like every other year- sometimes breezy, sometimes anxious, sometimes in melancholy. There is no romance or performance to these first week resolutions, but there is a real intimacy. In a year after a daunting, enormous, and never ending 2016, it is striking, even comforting, that you can always try for a change. Continue reading “Same journey, new shoes”

An urge to nest

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It is not just another autumn evening. It is cold, calm, and composed. It is rainy, cloudy, and happy. People are home, drying their rain boots and raincoats. We are wandering outside. I am clicking the sky, my usual activity on rainy days. I am heavily pregnant.

A flock of birds is returning home. I am wondering why they need a home when they have wings.

Soon I am going to find the answer.
Continue reading “An urge to nest”

Woman to Woman

Woman to woman

When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

– Mary Oliver

I met you at a very tender age. You wore a purple top, so tight and low cut that nothing was left to the imagination. Your husband gave us little lecture on love and new beginnings. You giggled at every silly joke the evening made that day, and your judging eyes stared at my uncomfortable face for hours. It was our first meeting.  Continue reading “Woman to Woman”

What happens in March

Womanhood

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. ― I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

March is not my favorite month. Every year when the month starts, my Facebook news feed gets crowded with copied quotes on “What women want.”  As if everyone figured that out already. Then on 8th of March, all of a sudden some women start posting gym selfies with different  slogans: ” Love your body. Exercise and drink water,” “Love yourself today, go shopping,”  “Be fit. Sky is the limit,” “A Beautiful woman draws strength from trouble, smiles during distress and grows stronger with prayers and hope. You are one of them. ”  Continue reading “What happens in March”